I don’t want to be labeled a Dominionist!

In preparing to become parents (no congratulations yet please, still firmly in the “trying” category) – my husband and I have been discussing childcare arrangements. For example, can we find good affordable childcare in our area, or would it be better for one of us to stay home with the baby and be a full-time parent?

Of course, as a woman, this decision comes fraught with all sorts of gender baggage… If we can’t afford childcare, because my husband makes significantly more money than I do – obviously I’d be the stay-at-home parent. Does this make it ridiculous that I have a college degree? Am I somehow damaging women’s rights by deciding to stay at home rather than forcing my corner the world to accommodate my motherhood? Will I be looked down upon as a woman because of my decision? Will people think I’m not intelligent or successful?

Putting aside this whole debate – I’m nowadays even more worried about people thinking that I’m “pro-traditional family”!

If my husband and I decide that it is in the best interest of our child for me to stay home to care for the little bundle of joy – it will be primarily a financial decision. Hubby makes 20K more than I am currently, so as much as he is willing to stay home (and probably would enjoy it too), we would better survive on his salary than mine.

The problem is – these days with dominionist thinking on the rise, I am truly concerned that someone is going to assume that I’m “submissive” to my husband, or a “traditional woman” because I’m at home raising the baby.

I’m also an educator by nature, and I have often thought about homeschooling my children, at least for the early primary years. The school systems are fair to poor in my area, and most families that can afford it, send their children to private school. Since, as you can see, finances are of concern to me, I was thinking that I could do a decent job teaching the kids in their early years, while we save up the cash to send them to private school when they are a little older…

So – I’ve got this whole “We’re going to look like a dominionist family” complex going – simply because I’ll probably end up as a stay-at-home mom, and might homeschool the kids…

And have you ever stopped to look at the resources available to stay-at-home moms and homeschooling families??

Unless you’re including all the internet sites and books that list ways to “make lots of money while staying home with the kids!” - the majority are very Conservative Christian, if not outright dominionist. There are very little neutral or “liberal” (put in quotes because to the dominionists, anything that isn’t the extreme right, is liberal, even if it’s neutral or centrist in nature) resources out there. And much of what you find that is more mainstream really makes assumptions that your choice to stay-at-home or homeschool was made because of “values”, as compared to financial needs or convenience.

So, on top of the fears of putting women’s rights back a few decades because I personally am choosing to be a full-time mom, I have to worry about my inadvertent support for dominionist culture because of my choice. Because that’s what I’m afraid will happen. I will stay home and raise my children, and homeschool them, and someone will look at our family and just assume that we are something we’re not.

I wonder sometimes if this is how some dominionist organizations get their high numbers of supporters… that in fact there are a whole bunch of liberal families that happen to be in the same position as my family, and because they look “traditional” from the superficial demographic information, that these orgs assume that these families are supportive of “traditional values”.